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Showing posts from January, 2017

Trader Joe's Battered Fish Nuggets

Ever have one of those days where you get up feeling like a battered fish nugget? Like waking up from the twilight zone, where you ask yourself, "what happened? where am I? what am I doing? who am I?" Perhaps the night before, you were out swimming with your fish friends and having a good ole time. And then you wake up after a night of intense fun or several nights, or a week, or three years - don't know how much time as passed exactly except that it has passed - hardly recognizable, battered, and ready to be eaten.  Like when you finally consciously realize what stands before you, perhaps in a not-so-sunshiny kind of way.

Trader Giotto's Oven-Baked Cheese Bites

Lest we be tempted to live under a rock - I must declare this. Cheese is the best, most miraculous food in the world. Eating nothing but cheese everyday promotes glowing skin, weight loss, cancer prevention, a clean house, and growth of my money tree. How thrilling it is to live in a world of "alternative facts." 
I jest. As much as life under a rock doesn't look so bad, we must continue to live in the light. As salt and light. With cheese preferably. 

Trader Joe's Fair Trade Malawi Coffee

There is nothing like drinking a cup of bitterness to start your morning. I love drinking bitterness in the morning. It gives that energy jolt and puts me in a productive, contemplative state. While I consumed physical bitterness, I would contemplate all the reasons why I should not allow myself to be consumed by bitterness. Toward people, the world, life. We have many reasons not to be consumed by bitterness people! And many reasons to consume bitterness in the form of a steaming hot cup of coffee! 

Trader Joe's Trimmed Radishes

Well isn't this about as exciting as sliced bread, which apparently people like. I highly doubt radishes  tickle our fancies in the same way. "Life is all about balance" or at least an attempt at homeostasis, so obviously sliced radishes help to cancel that bag of chips I recently demolished...

Trader Joe's Restaurant Style White Corn Tortilla Chips

New year new me? It's just not that simple y'all. Change is easier said than done and old habits die hard. Who am I to refuse a salty and crunchy snack. How nice of TJ's to release a new snack in the middle of January. Come to meeeeeeee. 

Trader Joe's Cruciferous Crunch Collection

Everybody needs a little roughage in their life to y'know clean out them pipes. Have you ever been without vegetables for an extended period of time? I'm just trying to spare you that pain and suffering and offer a review that is gluten free, Whole30 approved, New Years resolution diet friendly, etc. 

Trader Joe's Happy Trekking Trail Mix

To date, I've only reviewed one other trail mix. My narrow-minded trail mix philosophy goes something like this - once you've had one trail mix you've had them all, more or less. Yes, of course there are seasonal varieties. Pumpkin spice. Apple harvest. Tropical sunburst or whatever variety with dried pineapple or something. Some have chocolate. Some don't. Frankly the only things I really care about is spending the least amount of money for the most value and taste. More bang for my buck, because the only thing I like more than spending money is saving it. 

Trader Joe's Puff Pastry

Happy New Year! Did you have a nice holiday? A holiday break? A holiday of working? Are you begrudgingly starting a new diet in hopes of fulfilling a New Year's resolution? If so, good luck, because this post is not for you. But no worries, I'll get back to posting about healthy things and foods that move your bowels very soon. :P