Trader Joe's Scalloped Potato Chips with Five Cheeses

Believe it or not, scalloped potatoes were a staple at my house growing up. Except I was probably eating something totally different than what everyone else was eating. You see, when you grow up with an immigrant mother, the American food you have at home is a product of what she learned from other [probably Asian] moms (because food blogs and youtube weren't a thing yet) and what she deemed was acceptable. Our scalloped potato dish had cream of mushroom soup (yes, from the can) and dots of butter and absolutely no cheese. So I thought this new scalloped potato chip would be scalloped in shape, like those delicious seasonal scalloped party crackers. But apparently not...and I guess I just haven't had real scalloped potatoes before. I mean, it has cheese??? This is news to me...

Let's be real - it wasn't going to take much convincing to get me to buy this product anyway. Cheese and chips? Say no more. 

Layers of cheese and layers of potato - before today, I would have said that you were describing cheese fries.

 Oh this is not a health product at all. And I ain't mad about it. Bring on the cheese.

1. Have you ever liked something (or someone) so much that you get overwhelmed and aren't sure where to start? Hmm..maybe that's me. 

2. Right from opening the bag - oh it smells like a nice high quality, kettle-cooked chip. Except it's not a kettle-cooked chip. It's BETTER than a kettle-cooked chip. As stated on the bag, these chips are slightly thicker than a typical potato chip. And somehow they are still crispy AND crunchy - I mean my photos are just not doing the physical dimensions of this justice. It's not just a flat chip. They are all topologically interesting yet functional and pleasing to eat. Plus, some of these full-sized chips are massive - like the size of two Lays potato chips. 

3. Normal potato chips are just crunchy, and to make normal potato chips crunchier you kettle-cook them. The extra crunch with these chips isn't just from the frying; it's from the actual thickness of the chip. So it is a heftier crunch, but it's not hard. Why? I don't know...what is this sorcery. It still has this lightness and a crispness to it while being a very very substantial crunch while retaining an excellent potato flavor. 

4. As for the flavor, normally I would be racking my senses to see if I could taste all five different cheeses. But that doesn't appear to be the point here. And since I haven't had a "real scalloped potato," I thought of a good mac and cheese. Good mac and cheese consists of a few different kinds, but they all must melt together to create a savory oooey gooey goodness that you just don't question. I think they've accomplished just that here with the different cheese powders - yes it's all nice cheeses that I adore (Parmesan, cheddar, asiago, romano, and provolone). They're all pretty mild-flavored, so not one is too distinct from the other but omg...what an ensemble. Like the cast of Parasite. Ain't nobody got nominated for individual acting awards but they sure took the prize for best ensemble. 

5. PLUS THE CHEESE FLAVOR IS EVENLY DISTRIBUTED. This is an often overlooked but very very very fundamental element of a flavored chip!!! 

6. And it's salty without being too salty. 

7. This chip ticks all the boxes. Flavor. Texture. Quality. Seasoning distribution. Snacking satisfaction (that category is for me). I can't think of something to complain about, and neither can A. 

8. $2.49 for a 6oz bag. For this quality? Take my money. 

TL;DR: Trader Joe's Scalloped Potato Chips with Five Cheeses. Cheesy crunchy perfection. 10/10. Mantou Joe repurchase? YES YES YES but very dangerous so probably must be purchased very judiciously lest I eat only chips like all day and all night.