Skip to main content

Trader Joe's Whole Grain Crispbread

I have a confession. Sometimes, I actually like eating bird food. Not actual bird food that you feed to birds but health food that is so darn healthy and perhaps even tasteless that it might as well be bird food. Such was the case here. I mean just look at it. Bird food baked into a cracker. Polly want a cracker? 

But I bought it anyway. It might have been after a nightshift and I happened to be feeling crunchy. Like granola. Post-nightshift impulsive buying is real y'all.

Crispbread is basically a flat cracker popular in a bunch of Nordic countries. This one is made in Norway. And super healthy. Just look at the ingredients. Flaxseed. Spelt. Wheat bran. That's some real scintillating stuff. For the 80 year-old grandma that I am inside.

I thought it would hold up as a toast replacement for avocado toast. And it did. Sort of. It was crunchy - like healthy crunchy and actually crunchy. Probably not a good idea to mash the avocado while on the crispbread since it is crisp, yes, but not indestructible. It tasted exactly like I thought it would. Very seedy. Kind of burnt, like when something has way too much whole meal/wheat flour. The crispbread was virtually inedible by itself, but when slathered with something else to disguise the taste? Not so bad. Hummus. Cheese. Avocado. Cookie butter. Nutella. Cookie butter and nutella. Take your pick. 

Repurchase verdict? If I'm desperate or on a diet or something. Lemme tell you...these bird food crackers are really good for self-control. Can't possibly over indulge on these babies. I maxed out at two per day. And considering that the flaxseed stimulates gastrointestinal motility, I really can't afford to be having more than two per day. On the other hand, if I ever found myself like really really in need some good relief, I can't think of a better combo than this peanut butter slathered onto this crispbread. Just sayin. :P

TL;DR: Trader Joe's Whole Grain Crispbread. Nordic bird food cracker. For health nuts and anyone who is old enough or troubled enough to be drinking prune juice. 5 out of 10. 



Popular posts from this blog

Trader Joe's Sliced French Brioche

"THIS IS LIKE CRACK." No it's not (but it certainly could be), but A says that's how I tend to overhype stuff. The funny thing is that I know I overhype a lot of things, so I actually try not to overhype it. Because I don't want to proclaim, "THIS IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER TASTED" about everything I try. But sometimes I can't help it, and the overhype spills out. Anyway, this is my meager attempt at NOT overhyping this bread (because it is pretty good actually and you should give it a try but I'm trying to restrain myself). 

Trader Joe's Matcha Green Tea

Dear reader, you may notice in the coming days that there are changes coming to this blog. Not nearly as dramatic, controversial, or dlfjepotigfjad;lkgjadsf (for my readers not as fluent in internet speak, that was a keyboard pound of frustration) as say, the government, but changes nonetheless. Mostly because there is coming a day where I will not live within a stone's throw of a Trader Joe's store. A sad sad day. But probably a good day for my wallet. :P 

Trader Joe's Kimchi

This is one of those foods that elicits one of two distinct responses from most people. "YAAAAAAAS. LIFE." Or if you can't stand the fermentedness, the sourness, or the spice - it's a *stink face.* I'm trying not support the deterioration of English language to mere emojis, but c'mon. Stink face is pretty darn appropriate for some. And while yes I like to categorize people and things, I acknowledge that you could be indifferent. Or uninitiated. Either way, you can't deny its presence. This is the lifestuff stuff of an entire people.