In case you live under a rock, Amazon recently acquired the organic grocery store [that I love to trash talk] - Whole Paycheck. To be fair, there are things that I like about Whole Foods, and there are certain products that I like and have purchased from Whole Foods. I have a certain respect for Whole Foods. I just prefer not to spend my whole paycheck there for various reasons. Anyway, all this means for me is that with a new Trader Joe's store slated to be opening 15-20 min away from where I currently live, I fully intend to double down on my brand loyalty. No, this is not sponsored by Trader Joe's - none of my posts are - but wouldn't it be nice if it were so?
This sort of product is something I would expect to find at Whole Foods (and would expect the price tag to be at least $3 or something). It's in the category of what I like to call "spa water." Bougie, bottled (wouldn't be surprised if it were tap), and flavored to make you feel fancy, healthy, and whatever else you need to feel to justify the price tag. Impulsive buys rely on our feelings y'all.
Really, it was the packaging that got me first. I found the ombre yellow-green color with modern calligraphy rather aesthetically pleasing. It was only $1, so I picked it up, but looking back maybe if I spent more than 10 seconds reading the description I would have thought twice about it. "Natural flavors" seems like an ambiguous euphemism for fake flavor.
In case you wanted to know, water is zero-calorie, non-fat, sugar-free, and gluten-free. Woohoo.
This water was anything but refreshing. I chilled it first. But even then, I had one sip and said aloud, "ew. gross." Spa water is supposed to be delicious, refreshing, and thirst quenching. This? I sorta wanted to spit it out. Lemongrass is supposed to add an earthy herbal flavor but it was very very subtle. Instead, you get a huge punch of spearmint, not in a good way, but artificially like spearmint gum. I can handle spearmint in gum but it was just gross in water. I can see this flavor combo working if you use real lemongrass and real mint - it would probably make a nice minty, herbal tea. There is nothing redemptive about this water. I forced myself to finish it during nightshift. It was like drinking a bad, fake, really weak tea.
But at least it was organic? That's like saying your dog pooped on your brand new carpet, and someone's like, "well at least it's organic?"
But since it was only $1, I don't feel so bad about trying it. It's not like it was asparagus water. I just wouldn't buy it ever again nor recommend that anybody spend their hard earned dollar (or dollar collected from under the couch cushions) on this stuff.
TL;DR: Trader Joe's Organic Lemongrass Spearmint Herbal Flavored Water. Bootleg infused water. That disappointment you feel when you buy an authentic ______ from Amazon and it turns out to be a cheap, counterfeit version from China. SMH. 2 out of 10.